i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it because I queefed?
this will be a night to untag.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize