Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fuck appropriateness.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
