I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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