I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
