Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
