And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
