What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize