Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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