I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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