i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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