I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
