Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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