Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
