hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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