guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
