Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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(480): View more from Arizona

I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground

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(604): View more from British Columbia

i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS

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(518): View more from New York

just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.

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(813): View more from Florida

There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.

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