So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
