hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
