She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
