I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize