That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
there is glitter all over my balls
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