The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize