i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
