called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
