WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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