he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
