She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
