Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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