Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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