try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
