She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
