I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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