I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
