I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
