I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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