You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
