she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
