Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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