Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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