did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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