Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fuck appropriateness.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I didn't notice because vodka
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Randomize
