why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
