I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
