I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it was like eating out sand paper
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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