"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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