Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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