i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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