Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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