Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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