how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
