think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
