My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
