She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
