Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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