She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
