Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
