You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
zippers are such a cool invention
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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