Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
