She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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