Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Houston, we have a blender
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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