party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
