I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The adults are the big ones right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
