Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
