i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
