i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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