oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize