when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
