I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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